My thoughts and prayers have varied over the last few months
as I prepared for this mission trip. I will be the first to tell you that
organization, structure and details are essentials in my life and that without
them panic ensues. With that being said, my thoughts initially rested on the
details (or lack there of in my mind). When are we leaving, where are we staying,
what do we need, who is coming?? Trust me when I say the questions in my mind
were never ending. I have always found experience to be the best teacher…. and having
never been on a mission trip, my experience is non-existing. Moving past this
worry of uncertainty and endless possibilities has been His first test for me.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your
own understanding; In all your way acknowledge Him and he shall direct your
paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
As the details came together my worry and fear shifted to
the simple idea of service. Though I attended church growing up and have
participated in various bible studies and workshop groups as an adult, I have
always looked at my faith as a very personal and private affair. My faith
journey hasn’t always been a linear path…. If anything I would say it looks more
like a version of the candy land board game, weaving in and out of sight
through the Candy Cane Forest, Gum Drop Mountain and Molasses Swamp. I think
that this variation from the straight and narrow has always brought me a sense
of personal disappointment. While all relationships in our lives have there ups
and downs, even the strongest, I never pictured that my relationship with God
would. I like to think that we’ve argued like any child and parent do. I am stubborn
and refuse to listen when clearly He knows best. He in turn lets me stumble and
“do it my way” until I run back into His arms, crying and apologizing. His
lessons aren’t always black and white. I scream back to “JUST SAY WHAT YOU
MEAN!”. He is there for the great days and the days that are worse than I could
have imagined. He is patient, and loving while I am demanding and resistant.
All this to say, my journey is not nor will it ever be “Picture Perfect”. Am I
really the best person to share His word, His light and His love with others? Was
my number called by mistake?
Service by definition is the action of helping or doing work
for someone. When I first thought about service I thought that He was that
someone I was serving. I am cringing just typing that. Yes, Anna…. His love and
faith has been around for centuries but without you spreading the good news it
will cease to exist! Another washed up celebrity that we can only read about on
Wikipedia. Having had some more time to reflect on this sentiment I realize
that that someone is me and you and the them we have yet to meet.
It has been just 11 hours since I boarded the plane to
Amsterdam from Atlanta with 10 other women on this mission of service. Even in
that short time my faith has been strengthened. As I listen to these young
women talk about their faith, their journeys and their love of Christ I am reassured
that the straight and narrow path is often the path less traveled. Just by
sharing their stories they are helping me, helping one another and indirectly
helping Him. I smiled as I laid my head back on my ridiculously uncomfortable neck
pillow because even in this short time, I know my life and my faith will never
be the same. Our service is to each other. To provide encouragement. To grow.
To learn. To strengthen the love and relationship we have with Him. And most
importantly to challenge those doubts we harbor about our worthiness for that
love.
So….if this post is at all resonating with you and you too
are working your way through the Ice Cream Sea to the Candy Castle I would love
for you to follow me on this journey. My goal is to share my open and honest
experiences in hopes that I can serve you and your faith, so you in turn can
serve another. See you in Budapest!
As we lose ourselves in the service of others we discover
our own lives and our own happiness. -Dieter F. Uchtdorf
