Grown: adj. 1. No longer a child 2. Fully grown.

One thing I often wish I understood as a child was that grown-ups are not invincible. As many children do, I grew up blissfully naïve to the words stress and worry. I knew nothing of their definitions let alone that my parents might experience them. To me, my parents were always happy. The rare times they fought or looked sad could all be explained by my brothers getting in trouble, or dad forgetting the milk. Knowing better now, I consider myself blessed that I grew up in a happy home, with both sets of grandparents and every aunt, uncle, cousin and relative within 30 minutes from one another.

The word grown up is a sort of conundrum. To be grown implies that you have finished growing. You have reached the final level and there can be no more growth. But do we ever really stop growing up? It’s obvious to see the growth between your toddler years and pre-adolescence. Then becoming a teenager with all the hormones attached. It’s not until college and the years after that we really say we must “grow-up”. We get our first job, first apartment, learn to budget, etc. This in turn, for the lucky ones, leads to marriage and a family. They say the second child is much easier because we have learned all the tricks the first time around. We grow and we grow and we grow.

So when are we considered a grown-up? What criteria is necessary to be grown? Do you have to own a house? Have a family? Do your children need to be grown? Or is it simply a maturity level?

The older we get the wiser we are perceived. My grandparents are the wisest and most brilliant people I know. They have been through so many experiences and have survived so many challenges. They have each raised 3 kids, and have helped raise my siblings and me. I am constantly talking to my grandmother about my problems. She prays for many things. Sometimes answers, sometimes guidance, sometimes just to mention that we may need an extra angel looking over us. She often says (paraphrased), “I wish I had an answer for you. All we can do is pray for guidance and trust that God will help you through”. I believe that my experiences cause her to grow as well. My grandmother is 78 years old. If she is still growing……who in the world is fully grown?

I think that is one of the things we are most ignorant about. That our grandparents and parents are still growing, still maturing. They still face new challenges and dilemmas. They might be different than ours but they still face them. Just as we struggle and fail, they do as well. No matter the age, it is difficult to see past our own circumstances and put ourselves in others shoes. It is impossible to know how others feel, to understand why they react the way they do. My daisy could be another persons’ weed and vice versa.

I am 24 years old and all I want to be is a grown-up. I want people to look at me and see a mature adult not a little girl. But the idea of being grown is just an illusion. Maybe the point is that we will never stop growing. God is the only true grown-up. He is the only person that has experienced everything. He sees all, hears all, and knows all. The best we can do is trust that he is helping us grow in the right direction.